Positively Positive

Have you ever decided that you want to lose weight? Decided that you are going to go on a diet and you just need to decide what the start date of that diet will be?
You tell yourself every day that you need to sort your weight out, that you need to eat healthier, that you want to get into a healthy routine, that you want to shed that bit of weight you have been wanting to lose For the last couple of months? But your brain does not seem to want to co-operate?
The same brain that knows what it wants and how to get it, but the same brain that keeps putting up mental obstacles to knock your motivation and hold you back?
That is what it is like living with a mental illness and being told to ‘be happy and ‘think positive’. Our brain may know what we want, and even have ideas how to do it – but there are mental blockers In the way, holding us back, stopping us from being able to just flick a mental switch to ‘positive mode’.

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Telling someone with mental health issues to ‘think positive’ and ‘stop thinking so negatively’ is like telling a smoker to quit smoking.
We know that smoking is bad for our health, just like we know negative thoughts are bad for our mental health. The more we smoke the worse our health gets, and we know negativity breeds negativity.
We know that quitting smoking is the best thing for us and our health, just like we know thinking positively is better for mental health – but that doesn’t make it a quick fix option. The mental blockers are there preventing us from just switching that ‘positive mode’ switch.

We can try for days, weeks, months, years to get in to ‘diet mode’ and not succeed in losing that weight because of the mental blockers we keep fighting.
We can try for days, weeks, months, years to get in to ‘quitting mode’ and not succeed in quitting smoking because of the mental blockers we keep fighting.
We can try for days, weeks, months, years to get into ‘positive mode’ and not succeed in feeling positive because of the mental blockers we keep fighting.

But often, suddenly, without anything being different, other than the mental blockers seem to lift – the stars seem to align and we succeed to put ourselves into ‘diet mode’, ‘quitting mode’, ‘positive mode’. It feels like we are fighting to the same degree we were before, but the mental blockers are gone.

And for a while we start to lose weight, stop smoking, thinking positively.
But just like we can end up putting weight back on, or start smoking again, the negative thoughts can creep back in again.

It is a lifelong battle.

That is the reality of mental health issues.

That is why telling someone to “think positive” can great more of a negative effect.

Just because they aren’t being positive does not mean they are not trying to fight a hard mental battle.

Why I love Christmas

For anyone who knows me, or follows me on Twitter you may be aware that (while I am struggling this year and things are getting a little on top of me) I do LOVE Christmas!

I am so lucky that I have so many amazing Christmas memories that I have made over the years.

Coming from a ‘cereal packet’ family, I had some great childhood Christmases – writing letters to Father Christmas (based on the list from the Argos catalogue), visiting Father Christmas in his Grotto, hanging stockings, leaving out a mince pie and sherry, Christmas Dinner with the family… I feel blessed to have been able to have experienced such Traditional, Family Orientated Christmases.

Not only was I given the Traditional Family Christmas, but my Brother and I were truly spoilt by my parents, as well as the rest of family and friends. We were never left disappointed or wanting for anything.

Now, that isn’t to say that every Christmas has been easy. One year for instance, brought us a festive period which impacted me in ways I am still dealing with, and would have been enough to spoil Christmas for the rest of time, but my parents made the best of it for us. Christmas can be hard at times… for a post about loss and Christmas time click here.

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So why is it that I love Christmas so much?

  • I enjoy the build-up – the anticipation of what the season will bring. For those lucky enough to have time off with their families over Christmas, it is so lovely to have the time off to look forward to at the end of the year
  • The music!! I can’t help it! I just love the music – from the Christmas carols, to the classics and the novelty Christmas songs… I love it all! I love the nostalgia it brings and my mood can be influenced by music so I find it is good for me! I love walking around the shops doing my Christmas shopping when the Christmas music is on (I have to admit though I have to go early morning to do my shopping to prevent me getting stressed out about all the people around)
  • Christmas Movies – So many feel good Christmas movies out there to watch! From classics like ‘Home Alone’, to Christmas chick flicks like ‘The Holiday’, I love to spend time watching as many as I can squeeze in during the festive season, in between shopping and wrapping! See what my favourites are here.
  • Spoiling my loved ones – particularly true for my parents – they gave us such great Christmas memories during our childhood that I try each year to spoil them a little bit in the way that they did for us (I know it isn’t all material, but I enjoy having the luxury of being able to spoil people I love)
  • Decorations – everywhere!!! In the house, in the town, in the shops, in the workplace!!! Lights, trees, glitter, tinsel, red, gold, green… I love it!!
  • Spending time with your family and friends, and being lazy – the one time of year we all try and have time off at the same time and we spend our days with friends and family, or lazing around on the couch watching movies, eating chocolate and not feeling guilty about it!!
  • The food!! Turkey, Brussel sprouts, roast potatoes, carrots, turnips, and pigs in blankets… the list goes on! No Christmas dinner is complete without a Christmas cracker of course, with the typically rubbish joke!! But it isn’t just about the dinner. It is about the buffets, the tubs of chocolates that every house seems to have, the cheese and crackers we all buy at this time of year, satsumas, nuts… the list goes on! We see it, we eat it!! And then beat ourselves up over it come January!
  • Traditions – we have a few traditions as a family, and even myself and my husband have begun our own traditions… watching ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’ on Christmas Eve while eating KFC for example! It is a strange one, but we love it!! We also save all our Christmas cards for family (like parents, each other, brothers etc.) and we all exchange cards on Christmas Eve… kind of like a card version of exchanging gifts I guess. I like it, as it kind of makes it a bit more special!

So… those are just some of the things I love about Christmas!! There are surely more, but those are some.

I am interested to hear what you like about Christmas?

 

Not everyone finds Christmas an enjoyable time of year, that is why we are running the ‘Angels Christmas Sanctuary’ (#AngelsChristmasSanctuary) on Twitter from the @MHCrisisAngels account. Drop us a DM on Twitter if you are interested.

Acs